20 Funny Responses to “Who Knows” (With Examples)

Funny Responses to “Who Knows” (With Examples) can turn an ordinary conversation into a hilarious moment with witty comebacks, clever jokes, and playful replies. Whether you’re texting a friend, chatting with a crush, or joking around with someone, the right response can make the conversation more interesting and entertaining. These funny answers help you express your personality while keeping things lighthearted and natural.

Sometimes, a little sarcasm, humor, or creativity is all you need to make someone laugh. From clever one-liners to silly jokes and unexpected comebacks, you’ll discover funny replies for different situations. Whether you want to tease a friend, add humor to a text, or keep a conversation going, these examples will help you find the perfect response without sounding awkward or forced.

1. “Your Guess Is as Good as Mine!”

When someone says “Who knows?” because they genuinely have no idea, this response keeps the conversation lighthearted. It suggests that both of you are equally confused, which can make an uncertain situation feel less serious. You can use it when you’re discussing weekend plans, guessing what a friend will do, or trying to figure out why something unexpected happened. The humor comes from admitting that neither person has a better answer. Say it with a playful tone, and it becomes an easy way to share a laugh instead of making the conversation awkward.

Meaning: You have no idea either, so you’re both in the same situation.

Tone: Friendly, humorous, and casual.

Example: “Who knows?” “Your guess is as good as mine! Let’s just hope the universe has a plan.”

Best Use: Use this reply with friends, coworkers you know well, or anyone discussing something uncertain.

2. “Ask Google, Maybe It Knows!”

This funny comeback works particularly well when someone answers your question with “Who knows?” instead of offering any useful information. Rather than getting annoyed, you jokingly suggest asking Google for help. It adds a modern twist to the conversation and makes your response sound playful rather than demanding. You could use it when you’re trying to figure out where everyone should eat, when a package will arrive, or why your plans suddenly changed. The key is to keep it light so the other person understands that you’re teasing them, not criticizing their lack of knowledge.

Meaning: If neither of you knows the answer, maybe a search engine can help.

Tone: Witty, casual, and slightly sarcastic.

Example: “Who knows when the movie will start?” “Ask Google, maybe it knows! At least one of us should be prepared.”

Best Use: Use this response during casual chats about everyday questions, plans, or information you can easily look up.

3. “Apparently, Not You!”

If someone says “Who knows?” after you’ve asked them a question, this cheeky comeback can get a laugh. You’re playfully pointing out that they don’t know the answer, even though they might be the person you expected to help. The humor depends on the relationship between you and the other person. Among close friends, it can sound like harmless teasing. However, in a serious discussion, it could come across as rude. Add a smile or laughing emoji when texting to make your playful intention clearer and prevent your message from sounding unnecessarily harsh.

Meaning: You’re jokingly reminding the other person that they don’t have the answer.

Tone: Cheeky, teasing, and sarcastic.

Example: “Who knows why he canceled?” “Apparently, not you! Guess we’re both detectives now.”

Best Use: This is best for close friends who enjoy playful roasting and understand your sense of humor.

4. “The FBI Is Still Investigating!”

Turn an ordinary “Who knows?” into a mini mystery with this dramatic response. Pretending that the FBI is investigating something makes even a simple unanswered question sound like a major criminal case. It’s especially funny when you’re discussing a friend’s mysterious behavior, an unexplained disappearance, or a plan nobody can confirm. You don’t need to provide an actual answer; the joke is that the situation has become so complicated that professional investigators are supposedly involved. Keep your delivery exaggerated for the best effect, and avoid using it when someone is dealing with a genuinely serious problem.

Meaning: The answer is such a mystery that even investigators would need time to figure it out.

Tone: Dramatic, silly, and playful.

Example: “Who knows where Mark went?” “The FBI is still investigating! We’ll release the official report when we know more.”

Best Use: Use it when friends are joking about mysterious events, missing items, or someone’s unpredictable behavior.

5. “Let Me Consult My Crystal Ball!”

This response makes you sound like a fortune-teller who can predict the future, even though you’re just as uncertain as everyone else. It’s a funny option when someone says “Who knows?” about future plans, relationships, work, or an upcoming event. You can make the joke even better by pretending to look into an imaginary crystal ball before answering. The playful exaggeration helps keep the conversation entertaining without pretending that you actually know what’s going to happen. It’s a good reminder that some questions simply don’t have clear answers yet.

Meaning: You would need magical powers to predict what will happen.

Tone: Playful, imaginative, and humorous.

Example: “Who knows whether we’ll pass the exam?” “Let me consult my crystal ball! It says we should probably study first.”

Best Use: Use this comeback when discussing unpredictable outcomes, future plans, or funny what-if situations.

6. “Probably the Person Who Invented Google!”

When someone asks “Who knows?” and nobody has an answer, jokingly blaming the creator of Google is an amusing way to keep things moving. The response connects an everyday mystery with the idea that the internet contains answers to almost everything. Of course, Google doesn’t actually know everything, and that slight exaggeration is part of the humor. You can use this line during conversations about random facts, confusing situations, or questions that nobody has bothered to research. It works especially well with people who enjoy tech-related jokes and light sarcasm.

Meaning: You’re suggesting that an information expert or search engine might be the best place to look for answers.

Tone: Clever, casual, and lightly sarcastic.

Example: “Who knows why the Wi-Fi keeps disconnecting?” “Probably the person who invented Google! Let’s ask before the internet disappears again.”

Best Use: Use it in casual conversations about technology, trivia, or questions that might have an online answer.

7. “Definitely Not My Brain Right Now!”

This funny response is perfect when you and the other person are both confused. Instead of teasing them, you make yourself part of the joke by admitting that your brain isn’t providing any helpful information either. It can make a conversation feel more relaxed because you’re not pretending to have everything figured out. Try it when you’re tired, distracted, or trying to remember a name that refuses to come to mind. The self-deprecating humor makes the reply relatable, especially among friends who appreciate jokes about forgetfulness and everyday mental confusion.

Meaning: You’re too confused or distracted to come up with an answer.

Tone: Self-deprecating, friendly, and silly.

Example: “Who knows what we were supposed to buy?” “Definitely not my brain right now! It has officially left the group chat.”

Best Use: Use this response when you’re both forgetful, tired, confused, or unable to remember something simple.

8. “The Universe Is Keeping Secrets!”

Sometimes, “Who knows?” is the perfect opportunity for a dramatic, almost philosophical joke. Saying that the universe is keeping secrets makes an ordinary unknown sound like a cosmic mystery. It works when you’re discussing unexpected events, confusing relationships, future plans, or anything that seems impossible to explain. Rather than trying to solve the problem, you’re making fun of how unpredictable life can be. This response is especially effective when both people already know there’s no obvious answer and simply want to keep the conversation amusing.

Meaning: Some things are impossible to explain, at least for now.

Tone: Mysterious, dramatic, and playful.

Example: “Who knows why everything went wrong today?” “The universe is keeping secrets! I think it owes us an explanation.”

Best Use: Use this line during lighthearted conversations about coincidences, bad luck, or life’s unexpected surprises.

9. “My Money Is on Nobody!”

Here’s a funny comeback for moments when everyone is guessing but nobody has reliable information. By saying your money is on nobody, you pretend that not knowing is actually your official prediction. The response adds a playful betting theme without requiring anyone to make a real wager. It works particularly well when friends are debating who will arrive late, whether an event will happen, or what someone might do next. Deliver it confidently, as though you’ve made a brilliant prediction, and the contrast between your confidence and your complete lack of information makes the joke more entertaining.

Meaning: You’re predicting that nobody will figure out the answer.

Tone: Confident, humorous, and slightly sarcastic.

Example: “Who knows which team will win?” “My money is on nobody! This match is confusing enough already.”

Best Use: Use this response during friendly debates, casual predictions, or conversations where everyone is guessing.

10. “Even My Horoscope Is Confused!”

This reply is a funny way to admit that a situation is so unpredictable that even your horoscope supposedly can’t explain it. It’s ideal for conversations about uncertain plans, complicated relationships, or a day when everything seems to be going differently than expected. The humor comes from imagining that you’ve consulted the stars and still received absolutely no useful information. You can make it more amusing by blaming the planets for your confusion. Just remember that this is a playful expression, not a serious statement about astrology or anyone’s beliefs.

Meaning: Even an imaginary prediction can’t help you figure out what’s happening.

Tone: Quirky, playful, and dramatic.

Example: “Who knows if she’ll text back?” “Even my horoscope is confused! Apparently, Mercury has stopped answering messages too.”

Best Use: Use it with friends who enjoy horoscope jokes, playful exaggeration, or conversations about unpredictable events.

11. “That’s Above My Pay Grade!”

This familiar expression becomes a funny response when someone says “Who knows?” about a complicated issue. You’re essentially saying that the answer is beyond your responsibilities, expertise, or current level of understanding. It works in everyday conversations about work, confusing rules, complicated plans, or questions that nobody wants to investigate. Instead of sounding frustrated, you make it seem as though the problem requires a much more qualified person. The line can also add humor to workplace conversations, provided you use it in a relaxed setting rather than when someone needs genuine help.

Meaning: You’re joking that the question is too complicated or outside your responsibility.

Tone: Dry, witty, and casually sarcastic.

Example: “Who knows why the meeting was moved again?” “That’s above my pay grade! I’m just here to bring the coffee.”

Best Use: Use this response for complicated work situations, confusing decisions, or problems outside your control.

Also Read This: 20 Best Responses to “Absolutely” (With Examples)

12. “A Very Tired Detective, Apparently!”

This comeback turns you into a detective who has completely run out of clues. It fits naturally when you’re trying to solve a mystery with a friend but neither of you has made any progress. Maybe you’re figuring out who ate the last slice of pizza, where a missing item went, or why someone suddenly changed their plans. Calling yourself a tired detective makes the situation sound like a humorous investigation rather than a frustrating problem. You can even pretend to close an invisible case file to make the moment funnier in person.

Meaning: You’re trying to figure something out, but the clues aren’t helping.

Tone: Playful, theatrical, and self-aware.

Example: “Who knows who finished the snacks?” “A very tired detective, apparently! My investigation has reached a dead end.”

Best Use: Use this response when joking about missing objects, unexplained events, or small mysteries among friends.

13. “I’ll Ask My Cat!”

When you have no answer, why not consult an expert who probably won’t answer you either? Saying “I’ll ask my cat!” makes your uncertainty funny by suggesting that your pet might have secret knowledge. Cats are especially useful for this joke because their mysterious expressions can make them look as though they know everything but refuse to explain it. The line works best in informal chats about everyday problems or unpredictable events. You can replace “cat” with a dog, a houseplant, or another amusing character to personalize the joke.

Meaning: You’re humorously suggesting that you’ll ask an unlikely source for an answer.

Tone: Cute, silly, and lighthearted.

Example: “Who knows what we should watch tonight?” “I’ll ask my cat! If she ignores me, we’ll let the dog decide.”

Best Use: Use it with friends, family members, or anyone who enjoys pet jokes and absurd humor.

14. “Breaking News: Nobody Has a Clue!”

If the conversation needs a little extra drama, this fake news announcement is a great option. You turn the simple statement “Who knows?” into a headline that sounds like an urgent television report. It’s particularly entertaining when a group of friends is discussing a confusing situation and everyone keeps offering guesses without reaching a conclusion. Use an exaggerated newsreader voice when speaking, or add a few dramatic emojis when texting. The joke works because you’re presenting a completely ordinary lack of information as if it were a major developing story.

Meaning: Nobody knows the answer, and you’re announcing that fact dramatically.

Tone: Dramatic, funny, and sarcastic.

Example: “Who knows when the party starts?” “Breaking news: Nobody has a clue! More confusion is expected throughout the evening.”

Best Use: Use this line in group chats, funny social media conversations, or situations where everybody is equally confused.

15. “Let Me Check With the Committee!”

This funny response imagines that you’ve established an official committee to handle a question you can’t answer. The silliness comes from treating an ordinary decision as if it requires a formal investigation and several important meetings. It’s a great way to respond when friends ask about dinner plans, weekend activities, or a decision that hasn’t been made yet. You can make the joke even better by giving your imaginary committee members ridiculous job titles. The response is playful rather than genuinely evasive, so use it when the conversation doesn’t require an immediate, serious answer.

Meaning: You’re pretending to consult an official group before making a decision.

Tone: Playful, mock-formal, and humorous.

Example: “Who knows where we’re going for dinner?” “Let me check with the committee! The pizza department is currently reviewing our options.”

Best Use: Use this response when joking about group plans, indecision, or situations that don’t need a formal process.

16. “My Psychic Hotline Is Out of Service!”

This comeback gives your answer a fictional customer-service twist. Instead of simply admitting that you don’t know, you pretend your psychic abilities are temporarily unavailable. It works especially well when someone asks you to predict another person’s behavior or explain something that hasn’t happened yet. You can imagine an out-of-order sign hanging on your forehead for extra comedic effect. The response is a playful way to show that you’re not a mind reader and can’t predict the future. It also gently reminds the other person that some questions don’t have answers until more information becomes available.

Meaning: You can’t predict the answer because you don’t have magical or psychic abilities.

Tone: Witty, sarcastic, and playful.

Example: “Who knows whether he’ll show up?” “My psychic hotline is out of service! Please try again after he confirms his plans.”

Best Use: Use it when friends ask you to predict people’s actions, future events, or uncertain outcomes.

17. “Ask the Magic 8 Ball!”

A Magic 8 Ball is famous for giving random answers to questions, making it a natural fit for a funny reply to “Who knows?” Suggesting that someone consult this toy turns uncertainty into an imaginary fortune-telling session. You can pretend that the ball will make the final decision whenever nobody can agree on an answer. This works nicely for choosing a restaurant, deciding what movie to watch, or guessing whether a plan will happen. It’s a simple joke that keeps things moving without making anyone feel embarrassed for not knowing the answer.

Meaning: You’re jokingly suggesting that a random prediction might settle the question.

Tone: Playful, nostalgic, and lighthearted.

Example: “Who knows if we should go out tonight?” “Ask the Magic 8 Ball! If it says no, we’re blaming the ball.”

Best Use: Use it when discussing low-stakes decisions, friendly predictions, or situations where a random answer would be funny.

18. “That’s Classified Information!”

This response works by pretending that an ordinary answer is a top-secret government matter. It’s especially amusing when the question is simple and there’s absolutely no reason for anyone to keep the answer confidential. For example, a friend might ask who’s bringing snacks, when you’ll arrive, or why someone changed their mind. Acting as though the information is classified makes your response sound unnecessarily serious, creating a funny contrast. Be sure your tone is playful, especially if the other person genuinely needs information from you. A little dramatic secrecy works best when everyone’s in on the joke.

Meaning: You’re pretending that the answer is secret rather than unknown.

Tone: Mysterious, sarcastic, and playful.

Example: “Who knows who’s bringing the food?” “That’s classified information! You’ll need top-level pizza clearance.”

Best Use: Use it with friends in casual conversations about harmless mysteries or everyday plans.

19. “If I Knew, I’d Be a Millionaire!”

This is a humorous way to suggest that knowing the answer would be so valuable that you’d be rich. It works particularly well for questions about unpredictable events, difficult decisions, or situations in which everyone wishes they had a little more information. The exaggeration creates the joke: if the answer were that easy to discover, you’d supposedly be making a fortune from it. You can adjust the line to fit your situation by mentioning a promotion, a luxury vacation, or a lifetime supply of pizza. Keep the exaggeration friendly and the reply feels natural.

Meaning: The answer would be extremely valuable, but you don’t have it.

Tone: Witty, relatable, and humorous.

Example: “Who knows which investment will succeed?” “If I knew, I’d be a millionaire! For now, I’ll stick to making careful decisions.”

Best Use: Use this line when joking about unpredictable results, valuable information, or questions with no obvious answer.

20. “Ask Me Again in Another Lifetime!”

For a final dramatic comeback, pretend that you’ll need an entire lifetime—or perhaps several—to discover the answer. This exaggerated response works when a question is so confusing that nobody expects an immediate solution. It’s a humorous way to acknowledge uncertainty without turning the conversation into a serious discussion. You can use it when talking about complicated mysteries, unpredictable plans, or a decision that keeps getting postponed. The key is to deliver it with a straight face or a deliberately dramatic expression. That contrast makes the answer more entertaining.

Meaning: You don’t expect to find the answer anytime soon.

Tone: Dramatic, sarcastic, and funny.

Example: “Who knows when we’ll finally agree on a vacation destination?” “Ask me again in another lifetime! We haven’t even agreed on lunch.”

Best Use: Use it with friends or family when a harmless question has become an endless debate.

FAQs:

1. What are some funny responses to “Who knows”?

Some funny responses include “Ask my crystal ball,” “Your guess is as good as mine,” and “Even Google is confused!” These replies add humor and make casual conversations more entertaining.

2. How do you reply sarcastically to “Who knows”?

You can use a sarcastic comeback like “Clearly, not you!”, “Let me ask the universe,” or “That’s a mystery for another century.” Choose a reply that matches your relationship with the other person.

3. What is a witty response to “Who knows” over text?

A witty text response could be “The secret society of people who know!” or “Breaking news: Nobody has a clue.” These playful replies work well with friends who enjoy joking around.

4. How can I respond to “Who knows” without sounding rude?

Choose a friendly and lighthearted response, such as “Guess we’ll find out together!”, “That’s the million-dollar question,” or “Only time will tell.” These answers keep the conversation positive without offending anyone.

5. When should I use funny responses to “Who knows”?

Use funny responses when chatting with friends, texting someone you know well, or enjoying a relaxed conversation. Avoid overly sarcastic or teasing replies in serious discussions or professional situations where they might sound disrespectful.

Conclusion:

Finding the right funny response to “Who knows” can make an ordinary conversation much more entertaining. Whether you prefer clever one-liners, playful jokes, sarcastic comebacks, or friendly replies, choose something that fits the situation and your relationship with the other person. A little humor and creativity can break the awkward silence, make someone laugh, and keep your conversation going. Try these examples the next time someone says “Who knows” and add your own personality to the reply!